Let´s get personal…
Born in 1979, I simply wasn’t exposed to being photographed and filmed constantly, which may come as a shock to younger readers.
The younger generation seem to relish being in front of the camera.
Growing up in Essex in an East End family, we were always taught that it was not good to “love yourself” too much.
I had my own self-esteem issues and never really liked having my photo taken. I’d pull a funny face or act the fool because I felt uncomfortable. There was something almost embarrassing about being seen to be a “poser”.
Taking photos of yourself would have been met with mockery.
Pouting, posing, vanity were fair game for taking the p-ss!
Being humble, on the other hand, was considered an attribute of value.
While I don’t necessarily agree that this was the right approach, it does feel as though society has gone completely full circle. These days you’re tripping over tripods in the gym because so many people are filming themselves. Posing in the mirror and taking selfies isn’t frowned upon; it has become completely normal.
So, given my usual avoidance of cameras - why did I take part in a TV show documenting my New Life in the Sun? I hear you ask…
The Sunflower Effect
My perception of ego changed when I read Light Is the New Black by Rebecca Campbell, who I later met in person in London.
“Grow tall, and inspire others to grow with you.”
Sunflowers detect neighbouring plants through changes in light and can respond by growing taller to compete for sunlight.
This metaphor completely flipped my thinking.
Who am I — and who is my little, insecure self — to stand in the way of the Greater Tessa? To stand in the way of my soul’s purpose of inspiring others?
I realised that stepping forward into the limelight wasn’t necessarily about shouting, “Look at me!”
Confidence, ambition or courage can inspire others to stretch themselves.
So, despite my fears, I chose to step forward.
Not long after this shift in my thinking, I saw an advert looking for people to appear on
A New Life in the Sun.
I had literally just moved from London to Spain to pursue a dream I’d been working towards for many years.
It felt like a calling. So I applied.
Saying Yes
Inviting a TV crew into your life is quite a thing at the best of times.
Doing it when you’ve just completely dismantled your old life is another matter!
New country. New language. New relationship. New business. And absolutely no certainty about what lay ahead.
But that was partly why I wanted to do it.
If people saw me following my dreams — including the messy bits, rather than just the shiny end result — perhaps somebody watching at home might think:
Maybe I could follow my dreams too.
We filmed my initial adventures over five months in 2015: the highs, the lows and everything in between.
And then, of course, five months of your life has to be edited down into a tiny amount of television.
Television needs a story viewers can understand, and my life and business weren’t particularly easy things to squeeze into a few episodes.
The experience also put pressure on me personally and on my relationship at the time. Having cameras around while you’re already navigating huge life changes isn’t always easy.
But I kept going.
The Unexpected Gift
I’ve since appeared in three follow-up episodes, and that’s where the experience has become particularly rewarding for me.
The programme captured me trying things, changing direction, getting things wrong, finding another way and carrying on.
And one of the greatest gifts of doing the programme is something I didn’t appreciate at the beginning:
My journey has been recorded, and now I can look back at
young Tessa and give her some credit!
I find myself cheering her on, almost as though she’s someone else. It feels so long ago. I’m a different person now, but watching her has given me a new appreciation for the courage and hard work it took to get here.
Wow. Look how far I’ve come.
I didn’t know the way. But I kept going.
And I’m so, so grateful for that.
Onwards and upwards.
So, what’s the moral of my story? Why am I writing this post?
Because I want you to know, you don’t have to feel completely confident before you step forward to make big changes in your life.
You don’t need to know every step before you start! - take small actions daily.
And maybe being brave enough to let people see your imperfections, vulnerability, funny faces and all gives somebody else the courage to step forward too.
Being part of the show was the scariest part of my experience moving to Spain, but also was the most rewarding.
So, follow your passion. Start your own Souls Journey.
(And enjoy the show!) - 2027 Broadcast date to be announced. Stay tuned!
